The short pitch: I’ll work for you. You will benefit. All will be well. The longer pitch: I work with the soul of an artist and strength of a champion. I labor with the might of 200 oxen and bleed productivity. Need some task-tackling that shakes the earth? It’s rumored the first accomplishment I ever accomplished broke all laws of time and space to retroactively spark the dawn of modern civilization. At a minimum, I guarantee the shimmer emanating from my work will rouse Van Gogh from the dead and make become his muse*. The serious pitch: I’m a writer by trade and many other vocations by practice. I’ve written for Oscar, Emmy, and Grammy nominees. I wrote a movie that secured $1,000,000 in funding, attracted stars, received media attention with outlets like Access Hollywood and Power 106 LA, and played in theaters nationwide. I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in film production, and twice won the Written Image screenwriting award. For Masters Media Group, I hired and managed interns, ran a call center, wrote speeches, and gave live presentations. I’ve worked as a promoter with Microsoft, the Electronic Entertainment Expo, Genentech, Frito-Lay, and more. At Sirott Investments, I managed a $6.5 million apartment building with over 60 residents by myself. As a one-man crew, I handled marketing, scheduling, repairs, rent collection totaling $40,000 monthly, and worked 24/7 maintaining customer service. My management and creative experience will grow your company. Thank you for your consideration.